Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
