why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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