You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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