whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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