I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
