i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
