Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
