i think my tv is drunk
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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