I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
