I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Damn victory sex feels great
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
