If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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