chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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