peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
