im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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