you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
