Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
