highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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