Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
