just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
