It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
