I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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