wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
