It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
