I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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