Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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