She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
