shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
