my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
