Sry I called you an 8
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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