Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I think I won the penis lottery.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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