We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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