you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
i think my cat just said my name.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
