All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
