it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
