New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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