I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Randomize
