hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
