At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
