Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
