I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
as a side note pls kill me
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
