i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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