But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
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