Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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