biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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