i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
