At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
he shaved USA in his pubs
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
birth control should be required to get into college
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
