Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
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you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
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You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize