I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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