Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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