let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
