do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
