bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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