I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
