Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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