Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
