Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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