Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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